Back To Basics: Who are you serving?

This is something that applies to both your overall philosophy and each individual person. You must identify which beast in particular you are catering to before you can attempt to satisfy them. Some people want to really and truly be 'waited' on, while others don't want a goddamn thing to do with you. If your customer isn't looking at you, or even speaking directly to you (which you absolutely will encounter), you cannot take this as a personal slam. Some people are ignorant, others are easily intimidated, and others still have simply been taught this is the appropriate way to order a meal. It has nothing to do with your moral standards of decency and expectations from the public in general; you are trying to fleece this bastard - it doesn't matter if he wants to hurt your feelings. Get out of that holier-than-thou mindset and focus on the goal. He is telling you point blank exactly what he expects from you. Listen! Don't take it to heart or get upset or whine to your friends in the wait station. Use his language and gestures as ammunition to get what you need out of him. Were he a better person, his kindness and well-to-do attitude would get you about as much as his actual attitude is now, provided the tip doesn't change. You cannot save for a house on eye contact alone.

The overall point here is that it doesn't matter whether they offend your delicate sensibilities. Thick skin and distance is required in these situations. If they are a cruel or malevolent person, don't take offence. There's no cure for it & hating people you don't know for reasons you don't fully understand will never contribute to your CD collection – you’re only punishing yourself, because you know he doesn’t care. You're better off just to accept them for who & what they are. Move forward and Impress. The only direction for servers is forward - anything else can get you killed. Nobody you know can grasp what your day to day life is like. You cannot expect them to. It is detrimental to your health & overall worldview to focus on the shortsightedness of your average Joe. Being a server gives you a potentially depressing insight into the ongoings of the average human being in your area. You cannot focus on what you perceive to be that person's individual shortcomings - instead, liken them to other people you've served. Ask not how gravely this person is upsetting you. Ask instead why, and how (based on previous experience with that sort of person) you can use that information to swindle them into thinking you're their kind of server.

Some people will expect extreme professionalism out of you, and be aghast at anything but. Others still will expect professionalism but secretly hope for a jester in disguise. It is acceptable to allow them to take point on this score. The foundation for making better tips (assuming you are already in the position to accrue said tips) is being able to read your table. A skillful server knows right away what somebody wants from them; their mode of dress, facial expression, the sort of company they’re keeping, etc…

This information is essential to your endeavors and I do not plan on rehashing it much. Learn your lesson today and look to tomorrow for new wisdom. It is on this very auspicious day that I begin my blog, and we might as well do it right. Thank yourself for finding this blog and bookmarking it with haste – there’s much more to come, and all of it is useful and quirky.

Thank you for abiding my introduction.